To Clean, or not to Clean?

Three cups of coffee, two bowls, and one chapter later and I am still shirking my chores. I know I'll get it done, eventually, but right now I dun wanna! Random aside: are you supposed to capitalize those "tag" words? I can't help but do it. It's times like these when I really wish that magic were real, but then we'd all be big, fat, slobbering idiots, instead of just some of us. Cleanus Litterus! Yeah, I guess it's good that we can't all be perpetually lazy fuckheads.

So, as a lot of you know, I have this addiction to a book series titled "The Cat Who...", and while I'm never ashamed to flaunt my collection of first editions, I have to admit that owning almost thirty "Cat Who" related books is astounding for someone with such flighty convictions. I really am a Jill of All Trades, yet Master of none, but that is a different story for a different day. There are many reasons why I am such an avid fan of Ms. Jackson Braun and the world she's created in her series. I'll admit that, aside from a few main characters, two of which are cats, there isn't much in the way of character development. For the first ten or so books the plot tends to drag and dead-end, and there are numerous trivial inconsistencies. Once or twice, for me, the mystery's resolution has been painfully obvious only a mere four chapters in, but to invent elaborate riddles and incorporate two cats, an aging journalist, and a slew of "Yokel Locals" thirty times over isn't easy either.

What she [Ms. Braun] has done is created a rich and colorful township full of old town values and charming ideals. Her personal feelings of ecological preservation and animal rights bleeds through into these novels in a delicate and heartfelt way. If it didn't snow, and weren't fictional, I'd move to Moose County, 400 miles north of everywhere, in two shakes of a cat's tail. What is lacking in depth is made up for by Ms. Braun's lengthy background in fine cuisine and interior design and she proceeds to describe the meals and surroundings of the main character constantly. Beware: Cat Who books will probably make you hungry. Despite all of the quirks, I am absolutely hooked on this series and will continue to devour it voraciously over and over.

Well, I've killed a significant amount of time posting this bullshit. Time for a cigarette and another cup of coffee and then chores. BORING. Hopefully, WoW will be up by then. Oh, yeah, before I go, get this: my WoW server went down this morning for what those assholes at Blizzard dare to call a "brief maintenance". I checked the site. To them "brief" is three mother fucking hours. Jerkoffs.

Before I depart with the usual KITTEH!?!!1 I leave you with these fine words of wisdom:

Did you hear that they're melting down all the plastic that was in Michael Jackson to make a slide so that kids can go down on him again?

Boooo! Hiisssss! Yeah, I know. Fuck you, too. I think it's hilarious.

See? All better now. I had this one for the 4th, but I didn't post and I'll be damned if I'm waiting a whole fucking year to use it. KITTEH!

"I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain."

Gooooood Morning!

Oh, hey there everybody! I didn't see you there; c'mon inside and ... take off your shoes, please. Welcome to Walk Without Rhythm - the home of random fucking bullshit, magniloquent rants, and kitties. Go ahead, pretend that you don't like kitties ... I'll wait. Actually, no I won't - wanna know why? I don't give a fuck if you don't like kitties! It's my goddamn blog! If you don't wanna read it go away (shooooo), and I promise I won't give two shits.

Now that that's that, whoa, thatthatthatthattythat ... it's time to lay down some ground rules on this mutha':

• Numero Uno ~ Blog comments are enabled because you can say whatever the fuck you want, just don't expect it to make a difference.


• B - This blog is RATED ARRRR ~ I don't even wanna hear it if some snot-nosed punk ass kid reads this. Just don't.


• Penis ~ If you want me to read/follow your blog or add you on a messenger/social site send me a literate email request first or you will be denied. No exceptions.


• Orange ~ Yes, I AM the Grammar Police. Yes, I do typo. Feel free to scour each post for every little error and blast me for it. Also feel free to massage some sweltering testicles with your tongue, you prick.

And that's with only two three cups of coffee in me today. I like my coffee like I like my women: strong, black, with a spoon in them. Can you imagine what I look like this early in the morning having consumed copious quantities of caffeine? Now you don't have to!

D'awww! Look at me! I'm fucking cute! Anyway ... there is more coffee to be acquired and cigarettes that won't smoke themselves. If cigarettes smoked themselves would they give themselves cancer? I'll post more less interesting shit later!

To Do (Or Else):

• Change/Clean Cat-Shit box


• Vacuum house


• Swiffer© kitchen


• Play WoW


• More Kitty Piccers

Oh, fuck, I almost forgot! Here ya go, ladies:

KITTEH!!1

Go now. And may the Schwartz be with you.