To Clean, or not to Clean?

Three cups of coffee, two bowls, and one chapter later and I am still shirking my chores. I know I'll get it done, eventually, but right now I dun wanna! Random aside: are you supposed to capitalize those "tag" words? I can't help but do it. It's times like these when I really wish that magic were real, but then we'd all be big, fat, slobbering idiots, instead of just some of us. Cleanus Litterus! Yeah, I guess it's good that we can't all be perpetually lazy fuckheads.

So, as a lot of you know, I have this addiction to a book series titled "The Cat Who...", and while I'm never ashamed to flaunt my collection of first editions, I have to admit that owning almost thirty "Cat Who" related books is astounding for someone with such flighty convictions. I really am a Jill of All Trades, yet Master of none, but that is a different story for a different day. There are many reasons why I am such an avid fan of Ms. Jackson Braun and the world she's created in her series. I'll admit that, aside from a few main characters, two of which are cats, there isn't much in the way of character development. For the first ten or so books the plot tends to drag and dead-end, and there are numerous trivial inconsistencies. Once or twice, for me, the mystery's resolution has been painfully obvious only a mere four chapters in, but to invent elaborate riddles and incorporate two cats, an aging journalist, and a slew of "Yokel Locals" thirty times over isn't easy either.

What she [Ms. Braun] has done is created a rich and colorful township full of old town values and charming ideals. Her personal feelings of ecological preservation and animal rights bleeds through into these novels in a delicate and heartfelt way. If it didn't snow, and weren't fictional, I'd move to Moose County, 400 miles north of everywhere, in two shakes of a cat's tail. What is lacking in depth is made up for by Ms. Braun's lengthy background in fine cuisine and interior design and she proceeds to describe the meals and surroundings of the main character constantly. Beware: Cat Who books will probably make you hungry. Despite all of the quirks, I am absolutely hooked on this series and will continue to devour it voraciously over and over.

Well, I've killed a significant amount of time posting this bullshit. Time for a cigarette and another cup of coffee and then chores. BORING. Hopefully, WoW will be up by then. Oh, yeah, before I go, get this: my WoW server went down this morning for what those assholes at Blizzard dare to call a "brief maintenance". I checked the site. To them "brief" is three mother fucking hours. Jerkoffs.

Before I depart with the usual KITTEH!?!!1 I leave you with these fine words of wisdom:

Did you hear that they're melting down all the plastic that was in Michael Jackson to make a slide so that kids can go down on him again?

Boooo! Hiisssss! Yeah, I know. Fuck you, too. I think it's hilarious.

See? All better now. I had this one for the 4th, but I didn't post and I'll be damned if I'm waiting a whole fucking year to use it. KITTEH!

"I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain."

Happy Fourt- Oh Wait, That's Tomorrow.

MJ - It's what's for breakfast! And brunch, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, the munchies...

I am so goddamn tired of hearing, reading, and talking about Michael Jackson; fortunately, I have plenty of energy left for yelling, cursing, ranting and/or raving! Yes, I understand that the creepy, twisted husk of a man, who was starting to resemble an aged birch tree, was "iconic", but even the most minute and idiotic details surrounding his life and death are now inescapable. I would fully expect, at the risk of sounding racist, Jet magazine and BET to be all over this like, heh heh, white on rice, but c'mon! CNN is even acting like they give a shit! Not just one shit, either, two shits! Anderson Cooper doesn't know all of the words to "Thriller", and I'm more than willing to bet he doesn't care! Being the news junkie that I am, it infuriates me to no end that my daily headlines are filled with trivial bullshit about a crazy ass pedophile. There are real things happening in the real world, people, so pull your fucking heads out of La-La Land... or should I say NeverLand? Please, stop reporting around-the-clock coverage from in front of Michael Jackson's house, get back to the real news, and let us cave-dwelling internet goers handle reporting the inane shit - we're good at it.

I Can Haev Epic Mountz 2!

For those of you who don't know, or didn't care, I play a ridiculous amount of video games considering there are more productive things I could be doing. Having taken a long ass break from the monotonous grind that is WoW, I've been sucked, or suckered, back into the fray. Having found myself a wicked fun guild to run around with has added a new flavor, not to mention the few years of upgrades to the game I've missed allowing me to be pleasantly surprised when I stumble on to something "new".

I've been truckin' along at what I consider to be a fairly decent pace having only nineteen more levels to earn before I can play with the big kids. I'm not going to turn this into a WoW blog - that is a project of its own that I have tossed around in my head, but only in half seriousness - but I do want to post a few screenshots here and there. We'll start with the new skill they've added: "Trick Riding"

As you can see, I'm getting pretty good. Later, however, I decided that it was a little too gay for my tastes, being a Warlock and all, so I ditched the trick pony for some hardcore Steed-age.


Fuck yeah! That's one badass Death Horse. Whilst I roam around the expansive world (of Warcraft) critters will tremble, humanoids will flee, bitches will swoon! Whenever I'm on a particularly long sojourn I never fail to queue up an ever appropriate song by the one and only Dethklok:

"The Lost Vikings"

Riding, and riding, we search across the land
The snow, and wind, has frozen hearts of man
But we ride
We ride

Many days ago we left our homes
With swords to ride into the night
Fighting side by side to destroy our foes
And leave them without life

We stop, consider the land that we travelled
Our map's at home, direction unravelled
But we ride
We ride

Many days ago we left our homes
With swords to ride into the night
Fighting side by side to destroy our foes
And leave them without life

So much time has passed since we left our land
That we've become concerned
And we'll never find the battle
That we should have fought and won

But we won't stop searching

Lost but still we ride
Search until we die

We ride
We ride

Hungry and tired the frigid plain yeilds little
We trudge on further, eating pride and snow that's brittle

We ride
We ride

We come upon a witch who takes us in
To let us share her mighty fire
She asks of us our story and we lie and say
We ride around for hire
She asks us if we'd like to have her map
And points us in some direction
But we are far too proud and strong so we keep silent
And ignore her suggestion

Lost but still we ride
Search until we die
All the fault of pride
The gods weep in the night

Lost but still we ride
Search until we die
All the fault of pride
The gods weep in the night

We ride
We ride

It's an epic song and I recommend it to anyone with ears. Ya know what, even if you don't have ear! Fuck it! Go ahead and give it a listen anyway, or ... feel the vibrations or whatever the fuck it is they do. Anyways, I'm off for now, but not until I give you your daily dose of KITTENZ!

Peace out, bitches!