Conflicted

I'm not sure if I've posted this on here yet, so if it's a repeat ... oh well, my damn blog. It's just a small piece of prose I wrote after rudely being reminded of what I cannot have:

I wake to the Sun stinging questions to my eyes, awaiting answers from flickering lids and a dull green stare. There are plans to be made, compromises to take, riddles to write and then to solve, but these dreams you stir me from keep drifting back on a lilting tune. Dangling on the cusp of the waking world are fragments of lusty lovers and fairytale endings. Broken memories littered with feelings of longing, of hope; restless mind ever wondering, “What am I missing?” Relentless mind ever wandering to places that I've never been but know so well.

No, leave me to my sleep, let me rest in misery, Sun, let me rest in peace. But, Sun has no concern for me and, in turn, could never understand my pleas. What would something so constant know of needs and wants? The Sun has a place, a purpose, and somewhere it belongs; only in dreams do I fully feel these things. It's no fault of steady Sun that I take no comfort in its rising. Fall down, mighty Sun, so that I can find my people beneath the glow of the Moon. And, no, not even Moon can understand emptiness and so dutifully hums a lullaby granting me ease, delivering me to dreams. But, it is day now, Sun's time to shine, to grow, to warm, and I am left with reality.

Think it over, Virgo – calm, analytical, cold. You know better than you pretend. Break it down, chew it up, and spit it out. Emotions are only chemical reactions, neurons fire as feelings form; it's just energy and light. Still... like the perfect poem, meter and rhyme in harmony, a dream can take you somewhere no logic can replace. If only life were but a dream.